The nuances of a black and white world

I was an English major and just about every essay I wrote received bad marks----I'm not exaggerating. The only essays I did well on were ones that I got help on---not help from the professor or from the writing lab but from my girlfriend. This is very strange in itself----I mean I wrote the essays, it just seems that when she read them and helped me to complete the thoughts the essays were better--much better.
I had a professor who once told me I had a well populated mind but that it was disorganized. That seems to be the current theme in my life. He was right. I apparently have no ability to organizes thoughts into coherent pieces.
I used to complain about how the world seemed so black and white but always try to prove points in my essays for classes. Just now I was lying in bed, and it dawned on me that this was a juxtaposition. My essays were ill formed because I tried so desperately to prove a point. Perhaps if I took some of my own disdain for the existence of black and white solutions I would have been able to write essays with a little more panashe. I was thinking that perhaps---though 6 years late I should read "The Woman in White" and write that last essay for my Victorian lit professor who seemed to have such good advice for me. He would probably send it back with a late mark on it, or ignore it totally. He probably gets one a week from old students who feel guilty (like I do) about being such an idiot in college.
So, applying the idea that the world is full of colors, and shades, and interstitial spaces , and penumbra to my life is the next step. I sort of figured that the first thing that I should do, is write down this idea, in an attempt to etch it on my brain. The next step I think is to organize my thoughts somehow. And I guess this blog is an attempt at both of those tasks.
I think in many ways this blog is the creation of a structure that I can parallel to my head. Hopefully I will be able to use it to review my own way of seeing the world.
We'll see if it works (that is, me and the blog).