my coffee cup

my coffee cup

Try 3

leftovers anyone?

the idea of juxtaposing the mindsets of people at a dinner party when it is time to tell the waiter if htey want leftovers.

1..the tacky I don't take leftovers

2. the unsure

3. the tortured individual who looks into the entire process of the creation of each item on the plate from soil/sun/water to the plate

4. the personwho thinks of what they ate as the spewing of a corporate entity much akin to dental floss, plastic army men or polyester stockings

the scene is at first calm but it grows in intensity as the decisions are made and we do a creshendoing of scene flips between each character successively dropping out those who have decided and focusing on thoe that are indecisive.

the penthouse

The penthouse

Do you ever wake up in the morning wondering about those glass penthouses atop high-rise apartment buildings in NYC or Montreal or Singapore? Those real fancy ones, the ones with two private elevators. The elevator for freight and luggage has marble flooring in such a beautiful mosaic you might just want to be the busboy for a day.
How does one get to live in those buildings? How disturbing is that? I can only imagine that a large number of them are rented out to rock stars and other traveling elite. But there are some that must have permanent residence. Who are they and how does it happen to them?
I guess the thought is inconsequential for the real drive of the thought is figuring out how can I get into one of those apartments permanently. This isn’t a status thing. This desire isn’t about being the best, or maybe it is. I wake up late in the morning and go to bed early, so why do I deserve such an intriguing surrounding if all I would do was go to work and come home to sleep. Would a place like that even have a full kitchen, or would I be obliged to have a cook to do all the cooking, perhaps out of lack of time. I really don’t know. If I were a great chef maybe then I could still have a big kitchen atop the city. Perhaps it wouldn’t matter what I do, I would have a kitchen, just to have one. The kitchen would most invariably be surfaced with marble or the new wonder surface Corian and Stainless Steel.
Kitchens need to look clean. Not that one’s house needn’t look clean but a kitchen, especially, needs that edgy grime less look. When the party, if atop a high-rise apartment in the city, comes to a close the important place to be is in the kitchen with the staff. Helping the staff clean up, and entertaining her. The one you threw the whole party for, though at the time you or she might not have know it.
In the morning when the sun comes up, you are the first and perhaps only person in the city to see the unadulterated sun shine through your glass walls. This sight has got to be incomparable to even the greatest houses in the country. Except for perhaps two other locations I cannot imagine a better way to rise for the day. Perhaps if one were laying in a bed on a large boat in the middle of the sea or in a grand architectural feat atop a mountain the same view would be available.
To be in the skin of one of these mythical individuals for a time, it would be interesting; but still, wouldn’t I be missing something. Might they just be regular people wearing a special sort of skin.
……………………………………………………>>>>>…………………………………

Imagine waking up in autopilot in a skin, a skin of the sort that robes the mythic giant of a penthouse lair.
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One day I woke up as if in a dream, the autopilot was on and I had no idea where I was, what city, what block, what angle of the sun. The season was indiscernible but I saw the sun and it was beautiful, and I knew breakfast was ready because I could smell the fresh bread and breakfast tea. The warm smell of this bread enveloped my whole head it put me in the clouds. This bread; I knew the orange marmalade made freshly from Seville oranges would taste so good lightly topped upon its delicate white meat and firm crusty yet less than flaky borders. I was in no rush. I knew it was for me.
The tea inspired me to rise. Its bright smell, very crisp, the type of tea that stopped my consumption of that horrible sludge that goes by the name: coffee; was waiting on my table. This tea is perhaps responsible for catapulting me into the delicate ecstasy that is my state of existence. After I take the first sip of tea it will be a nice contrast. It with the fresh strawberries or papaya sitting on my table to the left.
It is a shame that I really don’t know where I am. In this bed I feel the fresh breeze of the clouds ruffle my sheets. The noise below distinctly places me in the middle of something. How is it that I know food is waiting for me?
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What are these thoughts that have interrupted the morning……………invest in strawberries………. it is going to be good…………. perhaps papaya………………. Better yet I should buy the shipping company………………. where are the best strawberries imported from?……………..call the office……………. where can I get them the cheapest?……………….today I am going to own strawberry production.

Today the air smells particularly sweet.

“What time is it? Must call the office.”
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He picks up the cellular phone, the one closest to his head. It is sitting on his night-stand, one of the few pieces of furniture he has allowed into his bedroom.

“Good morning sir.” Says the phone.

“ This morning I am interested in strawberries.”

“Yes sir. What time will you be expected, should I send the helicopter?”

No, no it’s not that important, I should be happy with the car today.

From the cell phone “Yes, but there is a public works project four blocks from the office. You may have to wait.”

“Well in that case, thank you. Send the helicopter, in 45 minutes.” He says in a thoughtful voice.
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How has this happened I have just set in motion the procedures to buy probably half of the means of strawberry distribution and production in this country? Perhaps I will start having strawberry fruit spread in the morning, though I really do like the orange marmalade. Perhaps it is OK to like orange marmalade in the morning. I will promise to eat fresh strawberries in the morning or perhaps have the choice of orange marmalade and strawberry fruit spread in the morning. I should have made sure I had strawberries at breakfast for at least a week before I told the office about it. It’s too late now. I wonder what they will dig up about strawberries. At least I know they have a short season.
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“This bread is so good. Now that is a market I just don’t want to fiddle with. Oh wait……. I can’t…….. it’s home made…….It was a thought………. Well……… No……. Best not meddle with homemade products.”
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“I wish I had someone to talk with. I wish I had a beautiful woman to share my bed with in the evenings and share my Orange Marmalade with in the morning.”
He takes a deep breath. Perhaps I will have a cocktail party. The view is nice and I have had the same bottle of cognac for the last 6 months. They always attract enough people. At least one person is usually interesting enough to wake up with in the morning…………. Isn’t that how I met my last wife.
That’s an interesting thought….Why do I repeatedly throw these cocktail parties?---- Cock ……..Tail…….that must be it. Well it isn’t like everyone there is THAT shallow. Someone always comes for the intrigue of its existence. Usually I get too drunk to look for them but maybe this time I won’t.
Who do I want in attendance? Only a few from work, I do however want the business connections there; they always bring the most interesting women. Perhaps I will invite everyone involved with the Strawberry deal, yes. What a good idea. The strawberry deal, not just a business deal, it will be a mighty fine social experiment as well! I like mornings like this.”

The sound of the helicopter landing outside gets louder and louder until it lands.

Is our pilot salaried of hourly? I’m sure he is salary. No rush…………This is really good tea. When the winter comes I will miss it. Right now I miss chai in the morning; I do believe it isn’t much different. There is always something to look forward to with the change of seasons.”
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“I never cease to be amazed at the look of this city from the window of a helicopter. And all this view is available to me for the distribution of strawberries. Never would have figured this would be where my life was heading. I will have to remember this. When I cease to see the beauty if this city from the window of a helicopter it will be time to leave the game.
A two minute ride in the helicopter, I can’t believe it. If I took the car it would have been at least forty-five minutes. And I would have had to go down there—perhaps I should take the helicopter from now on. It makes the morning so much less involved with transportation. Maybe all the execs need helicopter service---find out how much that costs—no bother-- then I would have to be on the helicopter schedule- and so would everyone else-better let everyone else take a car. If they really want to take the helicopter they can just ask me for the privilege. I hate schedules- they are the beginning of incompetence and bureaucracy. People stop thinking for themselves when the schedule comes into play. But god forbid, the trucking company doesn’t have a trucking schedule for the strawberries. How the world is so idiosyncratic.
Perhaps I am lucky. People want to work for me…perhaps they are lucky I want them to work for me.”
The helicopter sets down on a pad in the city a couple of miles away from the penthouse he woke up in just about an hour ago. The helicopter is leased out to other companies so he makes a profit from its existence. His pilot is busy, perhaps 25 –30 rides a day for anyone who can afford to, or needs, to get from rooftop to rooftop without using the sidewalk.
It is amazing; there is a whole population of people that never walk on the ground below them though they own most of it. Getting out of the helicopter has always been a tricky thing. He has always feared that he would lose his head. Thought it is not actually possible, the blades are too far above anyone’s head to ever cause a problem, it is still a fear.
“What am I working on today? That is the question I need to be thinking about now. The new project is the strawberry project but I must first attend to other projects. I think I will talk my stockman today—he always worries me, every time he gets a little windfall he tries to re-invest it. He loves the market but he doesn’t realize its only one game. I should talk to our lawyers, they will undoubtedly have something new, they always do………the publishing deal they have been working out, the publishing deal, I want to see how that project is working out, it has been a couple of months, I like that company. I think I will invite those guys to the cocktail party; they were worthy business partners. They should fly in for it. God knows I paid them enough. They invited me to their villa in the south of France last month; I should return the favor, perhaps they will want to invest in strawberries.
Nice, only two people to see maybe I will get farther on the strawberry project than I thought……Hmmm. I like strawberries. The great thing about having an office is that I pay everyone. I have a secretary, and I have my own shower. It is such a nice feeling to take a shower after a business deal.”
His assistant meets him as he gets out of his helicopter.

“Good morning sir. Trust the helicopter was better than the prospects of driving. We need the go-ahead for the office building in Singapore.

He signs a few papers, and realizes that with a few strokes of his pen he just built a 45 story office building, with 33 floors already to capacity. Three telecommunication companies alone have leased 60% of those floors. He has already covered the cost of building the complex even considering the possibility that 15 percent of the office space leased by those companies would go out of business in the next 20 years.

“ Do me a favor and have our stockman meet me. I need to talk to him about strawberries. Did you bring anything for me to peruse about them?”
“I promised I wouldn’t think about strawberries but well it’s that goddamned cocktail party they are too intermingled to separate them, I can’t have everything perfect; can I? At least I have this office building-state of the art. The only wires coming in are for the communication lines, I wish I could avoid them. Oh -well I win some and lose some.”
He walks over to the roof entrance and his assistant follows him down a short corridor to the elevator which only has to be taken down 5 floors- the top level office the top five floors are reserved for building operations and maintenance. He actually has two offices one in the east wall and one in the west wall.
He hadn’t bothered with a corner office, He put his four main men, the stockman, the real-estate man, the technologies man and the government contracts man in those four offices.
“How did I get here?” He walks to his morning office through a sea of desks, assistants in front of smaller offices responsible for the myriad of projects attached to each of his four steeds, all lead by giant but gentle bull.
“Good Morning Sir”
““Good morning.” He hears a bombardment of “good mornings” everywhere he walks he manages to respond to most of them in autopilot.
“I swear I have no idea how I got here. this is almost crazy. If I tried to stop all this I couldn’t. I’m on autopilot. And I can’t do anything about it.
“Good Morning sir”
“What is going to happen next? Will I wake up tomorrow President?”
“Good Morning.”
“Ok. Ok. Focus. Stockman. Quadrant number 2; Let’s get his take on the world.”
“Morning Sir.”
“Good Morning. How is the world going for you today? I understand things have been working out rather nicely this week compared to last months slaughter.”
“Well Sir, things have bounced back a bit, I think we should put some more funds into……
“Have we made a profit on it so far?”
“Well, yes but……”
“Perfect. I have a new investment.”
“Yes. Yes. I heard about the strawberries…. every time. Why do you insist on doing this to me every time?”
“Look I am not saying not to invest I am just saying that I work in percentages and you know all this, if your investments hit more that 25% of our total value we shift, it has always been that way and I will not budge, why do you think we have managed to survive the late 80’s. I have always made sure that assets are leveraged evenly. You know, one day you may take this seat over, and if you keep thinking this way…..I will not let this company turn into a brokerage firm…. Do we have an understanding here?”
“Yes, but…. This is an opportunity of a life time.”
“Fine. Then sell something. The larger the company becomes, the bigger your quarter becomes. Simple math my good man.”
“Very well. About the strawberries.”
Yes. The strawberries. They are such beautiful little fruits. My trusted assistant gave me a nice report a bit ago, haven’t read it completely, skimmed it so to say. Did you realize that there are so many varieties of strawberries that we could have a farm that produced fruit the entire year. They can be grown hydroponically. I want to own some farms. I have never bought one before, a farm that is. I like to think of it as a new venture. I need capitol, so (each of my steeds is going to have to help me attain this new structure-I think I will have to call myself pentagon enterprises.) You always have someone hanging around waiting to invest. Work on it. I am having a cocktail party in two weeks. Bring some investors and let them know we only need so much capitol. Plus I’ve been lonely lately. Hopefully some interesting women will show up.”
“Two weeks. Strawberries. Does this mean that I will only have 20% of the resources?”
We’ll see. We’ll see. 20% of a stew pot is usually more than a quater skillet. Just remember that. Have a good day, you’re my main stockman you know and I want you to be happy. Bring you wife to the cocktail party. I know it goes without saying but I want you to know, I really do have your best interests in mind.”
His stockman gets up to attend business as usual.
“That was easier than I thought, but it always is though.”
“Yes”
“Please have legal come in. I need a briefing.”
“Right away sir.”
Five minutes passes and he wonders what is going on. Where is he? This isn’t right.”
“There you are I was beginning to wonder if you fell in the toilet.”

“Well you could say, something of the sort. We are having certain labor issues with union security on the downtown securities building. The employees are not unhappy but the union has been picketing us for the last three weeks, we have no legal recourse.”

“The union, they will eventually run out of money and go back to where they came from. I am sick and tired of this union crap I wish they would just go away. Is that all?”
“For the moment yes. We have some pending patents but you can get a review from technology. We only fill out the paper work.”
“Hmm. Ok. Sounds good to me. Keep a close eye on the Singapore project we probably will not have any labor issues but Asian governments are always trying to make a buck from our hard work. Have government brief you on their past dealing with Singapore. We have a few offices there, we just don’t own anything except for this new project.
I have a new project for you. Look at the fruit import and transportation laws, also any other laws that may govern the strawberry business. I am having a Cocktail party in two weeks to work out a deal to attain some strawberry farms. I would like you to be there.”
“The lawyer gets up to assign the new project to someone.”
“ I really am going to figure this out. I need shipping, someone who knows about perishables. God I love my research-man”
“Yes. Sir.”
“Call research for me and get him on the phone.”
1 minute goes by. The phone rings. “Hi how are we doing over in research today?
“Good sir. How are you today?
“Splendid. I have a project. We are gong to acquire some strawberry facilities. I need to know everything about strawberries. I need to know every company that produces or sells strawberries and I need to know who buys strawberries. I need to understand the logistics of moving them around and then I need to know what resources we already have that we can use. Strawberries, you know; I want to know how many varieties there are. My report doesn’t say. How much time do think you will you need?”
“I can have something ready in one week”
“Good. I am having a cocktail party in two. I need to have investors; I need to have people who want to sell; I need to have them all in the same room. I think you should come. I need to know what they will be talking about and I am relying on you. We will talk in a week. Hope your findings are good.”
“If all goes well this week I think Friday the cocktail party will be quite a success. I can’t wait. This will be fun. So far;, research will be there;, the stockman and his entourage; legal will be present; my friends from the south of France. This is beginning to look good.
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He becomes lost in thought. The autopilot kicks in and the smell of fresh bread entices him out of bed once again.
“Strawberry day. Today is strawberry day. I wonder if there are any strawberry liquors, what a novel idea. I think I will call catering my self on this one.”
He picks up the phone and calls the office. Asks his secretary to connect him to the caterers-the private ones.
“ Yes. Hello. Tonight I am having a wonderful little get together, and I want a strawberry motif. I want the bartender to know how to make as many kinds of strawberry drinks as exist. The dessert must be some sort of strawberry creation. Of course make it tasteful; I don’t want overkill don’t put strawberries in everything. Actually, send me a menu and star all the strawberry items and what compliments them. Also, see if your chef can come up with something new; I like new things. Fax it to my office; call my secretary, she will get it to me. Thank you very much.”
The day continues. Fresh bread with strawberry fruit spread, the helicopter, a sea of “Good Mornings”.
*** “My god this remote control works wonderfully. Who makes it?”
He fumbles around at the end of a board meeting with the remote control admiring how well it works. The back cover says “Naka-Technologies”
“I want to have this company. And if I can’t I want to make something with them. Hmm what can I make? I know. I’ll call my technologies man. He always has a new idea.”
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In order to make the cocktail party begins well, legal comes back with him from the office. They enjoy a good drink or two, as always. The bachelors always get along. His stockman shows up next; wife in hand. He has always admired the stockman and his wife. They have two kids. Something he hopes for one day, But he has strawberries to farm and Naka-Technologies to keep him busy. His companies are his children. There has never been a woman more challenging than a corporation. They always want to go to Neimann-Marcus on Saturday afternoons and they don’t like bread for breakfast. He swears that women are on autopilot, and that he has never met an original one out of the bunch. That is what surprises him about his stockman—he seems to have found a woman that he can understand.
“I see an interesting woman. I wonder if she in single, no she seems to be with someone in research, maybe not. She looks intriguing. I must talk to her. What luck, I am the host.”
“Hi. I see you like Strawberries?”
“They seem to be the only thing on the menu.”
“I thought it was a fitting Motif.”
“This is a beautiful outline you have here. The sunset has to be worth all of it, I must admit.”
“Interesting I must say. I wonder if she is trying insult me. I’ll call her bluff. I’ll be silent for just another second.”
“All of what? I must confess; I’m not sure of your reference.”
As if in autopilot the evening soon waxes on until the first guests leave.
His friends from the south of France; they have an engagement in Belize in the morning.
Strawberries have consumed the lives of everyone in that room for the last two weeks and for a select few their whole lives. When they walk out of his office on Monday, some will be richer and others will have a few less burdens, others will have a few more, but he won’t worry about strawberries, it’s a finished deal in his mind. Something for the number monkeys to work out, A place to visit on weekends when he feels like having real earth beneath his toes; but he could always get that in Bordeaux.
The morning comes and she says.
“What a beautiful way to wake up. I do believe I am smelling bread again for the first time.. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

As if in autopilot he calls the office as she is on the balcony admiring the sun. He instructs Miss Welsh, his secretary, to have Richard picked up in the helicopter on Monday. He also leaves a message on Richard’s answering machine-- it only contains two words: “twenty percent.”

I have a dried leaf that represents a memory. It floats around my ever changing pile of stuff slowly breaking apart; I wonder if it will ever reach a point when it stops degrading, crumbling piece by piece, and getting smaller and smaller.


Written some time later maybe years.
This memory has faded enough now for me to remember the person the feelings but not how I got the leaf of even why it was so significant. In a way depressing. With many things the fading of the past is a fading of the possibilities.

Leveling compound

Seeking level is a daily ritual when building a structure. Every part must do two things, conform to the rules of physics, specifically the part about gravity, we’re not building rockets here, and aesthetics. We want lines that are equal, surfaces that are parallel to other surfaces, and any angle that isn’t 90 degrees should be on purpose. We have eyes watching the progress—the customer is worried that we will not do our job; that they messed up somehow—ordered the wrong cabinets, stove, roofing, color, tile border or sink faucet. The customer is our source of work but simultaneously a source of problems. The customer never understands the inner workings of the product whether it be a new car, a computer, or a new bathroom.
We must manage this—could you imagine going to a car dealership then watching them make the car in the back, not in a controlled factory, and every time you have a question about your car the process is stopped and explained. They stop the production to tell you why your car seat has 5 bolts, or maybe they would explain to you the mechanics of your air conditioning system. You might never get your car.
So it takes a certain panache and diplomacy to actually get the job done. But all in all, the customer can be the easiest part of the job, one just needs to do exactly what the customer wants.
The real demon of any job is the inner turmoil of perfection, reality, and the ability to bridge the twain. Thus, the leveling compound, any way you take it is a necessary part of the contractor’s life. In its current form it’s a dark powdery substance composed of silica (powdered sand), Portland cement, limestone, and gypsum, and it costs about 50 cents a pound. It is mixed with six quarts of water into a thin pea soupy consistency, and then poured out over a surface, usually a floor, to make it flat. Most commonly it is poured over a floor before it is tiled so that the surface isn’t like a rolling farm landscape.
So the process is to first gather the materials, Fifteen bags of leveling compound @ 50 lbs each, and a water source (preferably a hose). Second, is to collect the necessary tools and other implements. Some five gallon spackle buckets, a gallon jug, a trowel or other type of wide flat blade, electrical cord, a half inch drill, a mixing paddle.
Read directions carefully, even if you’ve done this before, read the directions—this is important, we never remember exactly and chances are we were distracted last time or the application wasn’t important enough to warrant reading directions.
Read direction again—there is something we missed. Make sure water is on, how much water again? What viscosity will that be like? We ask if it is going to pour well or will it be too thick and maintain a blob mound on the floor and cost us thousands of dollars in damages because the particular application today is to imbed an electrical radiant floor heating filament. It took 2 days to install and 1600 in materials. Representing almost $1200 in labor charges if we billed out the job correctly- not to mention that the leveling compound also costs $25 a bag. And the floor needs 15 bags. A very expensive installation. Look at the directions will this product do what we want? We did buy it so we must trust in its ability to mix to a thin pourable consistency and dry hard.
Get bucket pour six quarts of water, 1.5 gallons then as one person holds the bucket between their legs while standing over it drill positioned so that mixing paddle is centered in bucket turning paddle slowly, hold on drill handle trigger steadily but slowly turning the paddle the other person opens a bag of dusty leveling compound breathing as little as possible and thinking of how fucked up their lungs will be but still it is not enough impetus to put on a breathing mask—the restrict air flow and are hot and uncomfortable, and slowly picks up bag carries it’s 50 pounds over to the bucket secured between the other’s legs and slowly pours the mass of dust creating lung destroying leveling compound into the water while the mixer observes breathes a bit of dust and maintains a steady mixing speed so that all goes well and chaos does not ensue. Once the bag is poured into the bucket the water soaks it in and it becomes this dark grey soupy consistency. It must be mixed for one more minute.
Exit bag pourer, enter mixer. One minute-observe that the bucket is almost full. The leveler is 3 ½ inches from the top of the bucket. If I maintain the same slow speed will all the chunks of dry leveler dissipate in a minute—must be done in that minute only have 10 minutes to pour it out before it stets.
What if I squeeze my index finger just a little more? Oops. . . to much. . . fine trigger, just overreached the oscillation limit of the drill set by my ability to hold the axis perfectly straight with minimal oscillation. I now have spilled concrete leveling compound all over my legs& boots. Too bad, must continue mixing. 45 seconds left
Wow this is really cool. The faster the drill turns the larger the vortex

The desire for Honesty and truth has brought me here to this page today. The landscape that is our realty has brought me to this page, and the desire to write has put me in this moment. I thought today while looking at others creations that I had wished to be that creative that perhaps once I was but that it is now waning and I want to develop a way for it to grow again. It is perhaps true that I am jealous of creation but only in the sense that I feel something missing in my own life.
Perhaps what we need is a world making superstore. A warp zone where you get to pick a type of world to live in and a way to interface with other worlds by other people-- kind of a home depot but for your reality. You get to pick the tools of communication. The type of body you have. The emotions you chose to control and the ones that control you. Kind of a wholesale reality for your life, just I’d want the chance to exchange items. How does this relate to honesty. Not totally sure except that they were coinciding thoughts and they are developing on this page as I write.